Middle age, menopause, those are years away right?!!! Weight gain, tiredness, irritability, no, they won’t happen to me!!!

But they do & they have! Last October I hit 47 & felt great, 10 months later I’m having all sorts of strange symptoms that I now know I have to put down to perimenopause!!! So this is where women of a certain age either mope around for their lost youth or grab the bull by the horns & get on with it, right?!!But it’s not always that clear cut is it? No I’m not pining for my lost youth, yes of course I wish I had the same youthful figure & taught skin but I’m also happy in my own skin & with the knowledge and experience I’ve gained over the years. No it’s none of those things at all, ageing doesn’t worry me, in truth, I’m a big believer that ageing is a privilege but, it’s the changes in ME that’s bothering me. From as far back as I can remember I’ve always been super organised, ambitious, positive, energetic & extremely present in day to day life. Suddenly I’m exhausted all the time, feel like I’m on another planet & some days, I just can’t get myself going & the day disappears without having achieved anything. This being so against the grain of my personality I then end up completely frustrated and annoyed at myself thus putting me in a ‘not so pleasant’ mood!!!! Again, something that frustrates me hugely!!!

So why do I suddenly feel like this? Is it normal? Am I normal?

Of course the answer is YES, but it doesn’t make it any easier does it? For ladies that are going through the same as me it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost your mojo for good, you’ve gone from attractive to unattractive in the blink of an eye, you’re carrying too much weight, you’ve aged, in short, you’re invisible!!!

In my teens & twenties I was a professional dancer on cruise ships travelling around the Caribbean! I was young, carefree, fit, attractive, had a body to die for & I really was living my best life. Then I’m my late 30’s I married, had my 2 beautiful children and my figure almost went back to how it had been pre pregnancies! Throughout my 30’s a couple of pounds crept on but nothing too drastic and, as my 40th approached I was adamant I wasn’t going to be fat and forty, I was going to be ’40 and fabulous’!!!

Hitting 40 was actually fine but then as the mid 40’s approached a few more pounds kept creeping on.

Fast forward to 47, I’m not big but I’m not the weight I want to be despite working out and having a very healthy diet 95% of the time. It’s just so hard to shift the pounds, the same half stone seems to keep coming off and going straight back on again each month and I know most of my friends can relate to this. It’s so frustrating, especially when you don’t feel nice in anything you wear anymore.

Unfortunately peri menopause doesn’t stop there….

Irritability (my poor husband can’t do anything right at the moment) itchy skin, exhaustion, hair thinning, weight gain, slightly lower mood, insomnia, hot flashes, feeling bloated, anxiety, restlessness yes I’ve had them all even though, at the moment, my periods are still as regular as clockwork. All of these I expect to happen and can cope with but it’s the feeling of being constantly a bit ‘out of sorts’ and ‘not quite in the room’ a lot of the time that bothers me the most. I don’t feel ill, I don’t feel depressed, I don’t feel happy, I just don’t know how I feel and I don’t always feel present. Quite frankly I don’t feel like me & I want me back. Some call it brain fog but I don’t feel like that, I’m still on top of my job, have no problem getting through my to do list etc etc but in everything I do both work, home & leisure I just feel like I’m going through the motions.

I am currently relaxing on our family summer holiday in Tenerife. I adore travelling & holidays and I’m having a fabulous time. But oh my I’m completely exhausted by 9pm!!!! Me who used to be a night owl is having to force herself to go out as there’s no way I’m having early nights on holiday. Maybe it’s the lack of a summer holiday for two years due to lockdown and my body is not used to the heat or maybe my body is so tired from a crazy and very busy couple of years that my body has been screaming for a break but, with plenty of time to think & assess my situation I’ve made a decision, I’m booking a Dr’s appointment as soon as I return home to discuss HRT so watch this space as I embark on this next stage of life in the hope that I can share my experience and hopefully pass on some knowledge xx

Sent from Zoe’s iPhone  X 

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